The Saint Chronicles

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A poignant reminder of childlike innocence...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

stan
UPDATED @ 7:48 AM | 0 comments

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Okay. I had the most startling revelation today at dinner with some friends whom I have met recently. They think I look more like a Science/Maths than English teacher! I was more amused than anything else. I was, afterall, a former triple-Science and double Maths student in my secondary school days who nearly ventured into medicine if not for the dwinling interest in one of the former. That is another story all together of course.

Seriously speaking, what does an English or Science or Maths teacher look like? I do not deny the existence of stereotypes - even that of teachers. Thankfully, the image of a teacher has undergone a nib-tuck-like makeover in recent years. As for myself, many years back when the circus all started, I certainly did not want to be that dull and distant (D&D and dead too!) teacher in today's contemperary and exuberant world. I mean, I cannot imagine myself today as a student, sitting in class listening to the monotony of some former teachers and perhaps being gratefully distracted by the occasional droning fan and straying fly leaving a spluttering mess when their worlds collide. Enough said. The seven-and-a-half years had been a swell ride.

I will take this opportunity to answer some FAQs I have encountered lately along the corridors.

1) Why are you back in school?
I come in 3 times a week to help out with the STEP UP programme and relief teaching - think teacher WITHOUT the admin work, CCA, volumnous essays and scripts to mark and various multi-tasking projects. This arrangement complements my tuition assignments perfectly.

2) Does this mean tuition is bad business?
God has been so good by blessing me with amazing results with 95% of my students whom I slog to get there of course. So if you think I sell the magic-results pill, think again. Nothing beats sheer roll-up-your-sleeve-and-start-digging hardwork for those under me. So how am I doing in this area? Without mentioning numbers, I can only say this : I am overwhelmingly and amazingly blessed.

My current existence is perhaps best summed up by a favourite poem (which coincidentally a Sec2N1 student, Eugene -great choice dude!- showed me just last week) and a groovy Madonna song which I will include below :

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

jump
Madonna

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste

I haven't got much time to waste
It's time to make my way
I'm not afraid what I'll face
But I'm afraid to stay
I'm going down my own road
And I can make it alone
All work and no fighting
I'll find a place of my own

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to jump

We learned our lesson from the start, my sisters and me
The only thing you can depend on is your family
And life's gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree
It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see

Are you ready to jump?
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back, oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hands
Get ready to, are you ready?

There's only so much you can learn in one place
The more that you wait, the more time that you waste

All work and no fighting, I'll find a place of my own
It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own

I can make it alone

I took the plunge and I am still enjoying the great view!

So today I am not the English, Literature, Maths or Science teacher. It is an ideal arrangement which I am extremely grateful for and one that is the envy of many friends. I do not take this window period for granted of course, not knowing how long it will last. But as long as it remains open, I will explore the woods.

stan
UPDATED @ 11:14 PM | 0 comments

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Friday, January 26, 2007

stan
UPDATED @ 11:37 PM | 1 comments

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Buy 2 Get 1 FREE!

stan
UPDATED @ 6:36 PM | 0 comments

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

oasis
I was just waiting at one of the benches outside the computer labs on the 5th floor when I decided to check out the nearby amazing sky garden which Mr Michael Lim had rigged up from scratch.

stan
UPDATED @ 10:35 PM | 0 comments

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stan
UPDATED @ 7:53 PM | 0 comments

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Something by a former student (2E, 2003)...I thought it was, besides the narcisstic element, a nice tribute to his peers from the same batch.

stan
UPDATED @ 8:12 PM | 0 comments

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

It's Rico and Andre's birthday today! I just happened to have gotten my hands on some shots from my paparazzi source of their "torture" last Saturday.

stan
UPDATED @ 9:38 PM | 0 comments

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Monday, January 15, 2007

A novel way to tekkan mischief...re-enactment with flash photography!

presenting...
CSI - Cheeky Saints Investigation

Episode I : When Harry met Hairy

Episode II : Bottle Throttle

stan
UPDATED @ 10:05 PM | 0 comments

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Saturday, January 13, 2007

stan
UPDATED @ 9:59 PM | 5 comments

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The identity of the following clown will not be revealed in order not to save him from further embarrassment. :)

"I want to appear in both pictures so I jump and wave in this picture and then ..."

"...I dash across the class when Mr Ho snaps the other half of my class!"

No comments.

stan
UPDATED @ 8:32 AM | 0 comments

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stan
UPDATED @ 8:09 AM | 0 comments

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"Hooper's birthday is in about 35 minutes. U have anything on?" was the sms that came 35 minutes before mid-night. Did I have anything on? Yes, sleep. After checking in on the identity of the caller and upon realising that a wicked plan came along with it, I jumped out of bed and was out of the house in a record time of less than 5 minutes. So drove down to my accomplices' places I did before making a beeline back to Hooper's. The plan was to appear one at a time before the birthday boy and I was to be the last with the getaway vehicle. Before my act was due, I received a phonecall from none other than Hooper himself. Apparently, he had called to ask if I could drive over (when I'm just hiding below the stairs) and join them for supper - at approximately 1220am. That is how considerate they are and how well they know me enough to call me at such an hour. Knowing very well that I have to relief teach in a few hours' time, I still went ahead with this spontaneous birthday surprise. They are, afterall, my first and closest batch of ex-students who still keep in contact with me regularly. This was fun and I have always loved doing crazy stuff when I was their age. Who cares if I am getting less sleep for work later? So we dragged our very cooperative birthday boy to a prata place along Yio Chu Kang.

Erywn, Darrell, Hooper and me.

Right now, I have to catch whatever remaining sleep I can get before dawn sets in. Morning!

stan
UPDATED @ 3:00 AM | 0 comments

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Chilling out at Ms ZGoh's birthday gathering...recognise most of us?

stan
UPDATED @ 11:54 PM | 0 comments

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Friday, January 05, 2007

BURIED DEEP...

<<--in my arm pit <---------> in thoughts-->>

stan
UPDATED @ 10:16 PM | 0 comments

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[A crowded canteen]
Student hijacks teacher who happens to be walking past the Rothunda towards the canteen.

S1 - Cher, cher! Buy a lanyard from us!
T - [amused] Give me ONE good reason why I should buy one.
S1 - Eh, because you are my form teacher?
T - I was.
S1 - [flashes megawatt smile] Help choir raise funds!
T - What would the funds be used for then?
S1 - . . .
S2 - To help needy students in the choir [giggles].
T - Really...what colours are available then?
S1 - Sir, get the red one. It goes well with your red handphone.
T - My handphone is black in colour. I am not Superman you know.
S1 - . . .

The entrapment was a success and sadly, the teacher loses $6 in the process.

stan
UPDATED @ 9:52 PM | 2 comments

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Pregnant with their latest purchases to begin 2007, Saints were caught in action...

...protecting their precious P R E C I O U S!

The frontal hug
precious....precious....precious....precious....precious....precious

sunnyside up spread...

the classic butt press...
my precious...my precious...my precious...my precious...my precious...

elbow press with leg on red alert...
precious...precious...precious...precious...precious...precious...

it's more than 3 months old...WHO CARES?!

...no longer precious.

stan
UPDATED @ 9:26 PM | 0 comments

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Just a thought I had on a discovery this morning.

I was cleaning up my room when I came across some teacher's day cards from the Sec2s of 2003. Many expressed thanks for making Literature lessons much more enjoyable than before and for being an "interesting" teacher. After going through them, I put those cards in this file where I have kept other teacher's day cards.

2A, 2C, 2D and 2E of 2003 were my first and most memorable classes of SAS boys. You are the batch that dropped by every chinese new year for awhile and harrassed my room to the state it is today. some of them still meet up with me for supper or chat over the MSN. Perhaps the initial most startling incident happened with a 2C boy (whom I shall not name to save him from embarrassment - well actually, it's nothing of that nature at all!). He had asked me if I was interested in playing golf over a weekend. I was flabbagusted of course. Me? Golf? Feeling flattered and amused, I explained that I do not play the game, let alone afford it. I repeat this story often to subsequent batches of students and colleagues and now, to you all here. Thanks man!

Honestly, I miss teaching in school. It's really a fulfilling job, save for the endless marking. So if you ask me if I'm ever going back (many still do even over the last few days of 2006), while the heart lingers, the flesh - well, you can probably guess from my associations with the red ink.

Many thanks to you all who'd made my life in SAS a living "heaven". You have not seen the last of me yet.

To all readers of this blog, have a BLESSED NEW YEAR!!! :)

stan
UPDATED @ 12:59 PM | 0 comments

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